Intellectual Properties [pr: in-tl-ek-choo-uhl prop-er-tees] - adjective, noun plural :
You smart kid, showoff you. You want everyone to know you have the basics down, of business contracting. You can open for the Editors. It just sounds like an intelligent, sweater wearing night, for all concert goers. You will name your album titles after obscure, high scoring words in Scrabble, like "Qat" or "Qi".
Part Time Saviour [pr: pahrt-tahym seyv-yer] - adjective, noun :
This would work well for a one man act, guitar only. Don't be an asshole, like Jack Johnson, Dashboard Confessional, or John Mayer though. I just wanted to say all those guys were assholes...guess this doesn't necessarily have to be limited to a solo act? We just pictured it that way. We also pictured it done being a lot cooler than the guys we just mentioned...like the video and mp3 below of Matthew Teardrop of Manhattan Murder Mystery. We love MMM.
Matt Teardrop of Manhattan Murder Mystery
Download "A Whole Lot of Nothin" by Matthew Teardrop
3.10.2011
2.24.2011
More Contributions, from (The Make Up) Ladies Man...
Long time friend, Cosmenaut.blogspot.com author, esthetician, and whiskey enthusiast Greg Hoffman offers us his take on some band name suggestions...
Archipelago [pr: ahr-kuh-pel-uh-goh] - noun:
Sometimes, instead of naming your band after a geographical location, it's good to name your band after a natural occurrence, like Men At Work. With a name like this, you should have no more than three members, but extremely huge sound similar to Tortoise. But, you know, with fewer people. Suits and ties on stage, maybe all white with silver accents. Then, in public appearances, you wear track suits in the same color scheme. Fake vague European accents. As a joke, you record a cover of Sugar Sugar (by The Archies, get it?) and even though it sounds nothing like your other stuff, it will be your most well known song, catapulting you among the likes of The Butthole Surfers and The Flaming Lips. (Note: Due to reading Greg's transcriptions on an iPhone, we thought his original suggestion was "Archipelago Sometimes"...which we also think rules!)
Rum Soaked Lady Fingers [pr:ruhm sohkd ley-dee fing-ers] - noun, adjective, noun:
It's tempting to take this string of words literally, therefore possibly evoking images of hard drinking, hard rocking, chick-driven awesomeness. Unfortunately, we know the truth: delicious dessert. So, you should be an aging, waist-expanding, sit-down house band at some horrible touristy bar, playing quirky covers of classic rock and country tunes from song books. And taking cake for tips.
Locke & Lowell [pr: lok and lohl] - noun, conjunction, noun:
Consider yourself the bastard lovechild resulting from a quaalude-infused one night stand between later Hall & Oates and early Simon & Garfunkel. To fully commit to this name, the lead singer and the guitarist should legally change their respective last names to Locke and Lowell, parrying any assumptions that your band name is a reference from Sofia Coppola's Lost In Translation. However, just to keep everyone guess, your best song should be a hidden track on your first record, called, "Evelyn Waugh Was A Man". Play some hard rock in mesh tank tops and everyone will love you. Still don't get it?! Ask the next old Japanese guy you see in a strip club to "What kind of music say, The Rolling Stones play?" Locke & Lowell. They can open for Sanford & Sons, I mean, Mumford & Sons.
The Monkey Shines [pr: Mungh-kee Shayns] - noun, verb:
Remember that movie? Don't worry, nobody else does either. It was about a guy who becomes a quadriplegic and gets a helper monkey to help him out. Then the monkey goes crazy and fucks with him and everybody and stuff. Lesser George Romero (might make for a good album name). You need an indie rock sensibility like The Shout Out Louds, Clap Your Hands, Hot Hot Heat. And, as such, only your first record should be really great. Strive to be the sort of band Nick Harcourt won't stop talking about. Go on Carson Daly just to talk shit. If you're not gonna do the Flying Monkey suits from The Wizard of Oz - which you totally should - consider tight, white undershirts as your uniform. Especially for the chick drummer. Kick out the former child star who drinks too much because he's fucking up your dynamic (even though he thinks it's his band).
Archipelago [pr: ahr-kuh-pel-uh-goh] - noun:
Sometimes, instead of naming your band after a geographical location, it's good to name your band after a natural occurrence, like Men At Work. With a name like this, you should have no more than three members, but extremely huge sound similar to Tortoise. But, you know, with fewer people. Suits and ties on stage, maybe all white with silver accents. Then, in public appearances, you wear track suits in the same color scheme. Fake vague European accents. As a joke, you record a cover of Sugar Sugar (by The Archies, get it?) and even though it sounds nothing like your other stuff, it will be your most well known song, catapulting you among the likes of The Butthole Surfers and The Flaming Lips. (Note: Due to reading Greg's transcriptions on an iPhone, we thought his original suggestion was "Archipelago Sometimes"...which we also think rules!)
Rum Soaked Lady Fingers [pr:ruhm sohkd ley-dee fing-ers] - noun, adjective, noun:
It's tempting to take this string of words literally, therefore possibly evoking images of hard drinking, hard rocking, chick-driven awesomeness. Unfortunately, we know the truth: delicious dessert. So, you should be an aging, waist-expanding, sit-down house band at some horrible touristy bar, playing quirky covers of classic rock and country tunes from song books. And taking cake for tips.
Locke & Lowell [pr: lok and lohl] - noun, conjunction, noun:
Consider yourself the bastard lovechild resulting from a quaalude-infused one night stand between later Hall & Oates and early Simon & Garfunkel. To fully commit to this name, the lead singer and the guitarist should legally change their respective last names to Locke and Lowell, parrying any assumptions that your band name is a reference from Sofia Coppola's Lost In Translation. However, just to keep everyone guess, your best song should be a hidden track on your first record, called, "Evelyn Waugh Was A Man". Play some hard rock in mesh tank tops and everyone will love you. Still don't get it?! Ask the next old Japanese guy you see in a strip club to "What kind of music say, The Rolling Stones play?" Locke & Lowell. They can open for Sanford & Sons, I mean, Mumford & Sons.
The Monkey Shines [pr: Mungh-kee Shayns] - noun, verb:
Remember that movie? Don't worry, nobody else does either. It was about a guy who becomes a quadriplegic and gets a helper monkey to help him out. Then the monkey goes crazy and fucks with him and everybody and stuff. Lesser George Romero (might make for a good album name). You need an indie rock sensibility like The Shout Out Louds, Clap Your Hands, Hot Hot Heat. And, as such, only your first record should be really great. Strive to be the sort of band Nick Harcourt won't stop talking about. Go on Carson Daly just to talk shit. If you're not gonna do the Flying Monkey suits from The Wizard of Oz - which you totally should - consider tight, white undershirts as your uniform. Especially for the chick drummer. Kick out the former child star who drinks too much because he's fucking up your dynamic (even though he thinks it's his band).
2.09.2011
Make it Hip.
Here's a few from our East Coast contributor, Kerry McCrohan. If anyone needs a good production guy in the East Coast, contact us, and we'll get you in touch with him! Here's a few suggestions from Kerry:
PAPER GANGSTER [pr: pey-per gang-ster] - noun, noun:
All signs point to dedicating this name to Tom Hanks' other showbiz son, but looks like he's sticking with "Chet Haze". I say this works for a band, or an emcee. The potential irony is limitless!
GESUNDHEIT! [pr: gəˈzo ontīt] - exclamation:
Don't use this, unless you're gonna include the exclamation point in the name, please...we just want it that way. Your hair, your skin, and your clothes, should look something like this. You have keyboards that you kind of play live, and this band, not Kraftwerk, is a major influence.
THE STICK UP KIDS [pr: stik uhp kids] - noun, adverb, noun:
Yeah, we know, there's The Get Up Kids, The Pinehurst Kids, The Cool Kids, and now this. But its been forever since those bands have been around. Haven't you learned anything from the Movie Industry?! If its been done, and people have forgotten about it, go ahead and use it again!
PAPER GANGSTER [pr: pey-per gang-ster] - noun, noun:
All signs point to dedicating this name to Tom Hanks' other showbiz son, but looks like he's sticking with "Chet Haze". I say this works for a band, or an emcee. The potential irony is limitless!
GESUNDHEIT! [pr: gəˈzo ontīt] - exclamation:
Don't use this, unless you're gonna include the exclamation point in the name, please...we just want it that way. Your hair, your skin, and your clothes, should look something like this. You have keyboards that you kind of play live, and this band, not Kraftwerk, is a major influence.
THE STICK UP KIDS [pr: stik uhp kids] - noun, adverb, noun:
Yeah, we know, there's The Get Up Kids, The Pinehurst Kids, The Cool Kids, and now this. But its been forever since those bands have been around. Haven't you learned anything from the Movie Industry?! If its been done, and people have forgotten about it, go ahead and use it again!
1.13.2011
Band Names Suggestions from an actual musician...
L.A. musician Tom Ackerman, from Skiploader, Sunday's Best, The Kite Eating Tree, and Star Parts, has graciously provided us with his own band name suggestions...cause it seems you still can't properly name your own bands...I'm talking to you, Wicker. Really? Like the baskets?
THE CURL & DRAG [pr: th ee kurl uhnd drag] - definite article, verb, conjunction, verb:
A little hockey terminology comes into play, for this band designation. You should probably look like you don't care much for sports, to fittingly pull this one off. Otherwise it may be too over the top if you're a Canadian band, that sounds like the Barenaked Ladies.
TIGRIS & EUPHRATES [pr: tahy-gris uhnd yoo-frey-teez] - noun, conjunction, noun:
Geography is your good friend with this suggestion. It also tells your followers that you have the basic ability to remember things from 6th grade Geography class. You will play the kind of post-hardcore that earns you a ticket to ride in an Econoline Van, thanklessly touring the country with any of Blake Schwarzenbach's post-Jawbreaker bands.
DO THE MATH [pr: doo thee math ] - verb, definite article, noun :
Rock it hard. Jawbox style. Would look good on the marquee with "+/-" and Do Make Say Think, for overkill.
HAND OVER FIST [pr: hand oh-ver fist] - noun, preposition, noun :
We're going against Tom's post-hardcore recommendation, and asking you to name your emcee crew Hand Over Fist. No cutesy spelling with "Ova". Its been a long time since we've been graced with bad "$" signs photoshopped on rap album covers.
Thanks to Tom Ackerman for this installment of suggestions. For those of you seeking a drummer, Tom is currently looking for a band in L.A. to dedicate his skills to. Email us at bookofbandnames@gmail.com, and we'll get you in touch with him. And if you'd like to send us band name suggestions, we will gladly feature and credit you.
12.27.2010
Last of 2010 suggestions...
YOU KILLED MY FATHER, PREPARE TO DIE... [pr: yoo kild mahy fah-ther, pri-pair too dahy] - pronoun, verb, pronoun, noun, verb, preposition, verb :
Inigo Montoya is the inspiration for this band moniker. No matter what you do, you will not look as tough as you sound. Just ask The Murder City Devils. With this band name choice, you will surely be opening for And You Will Know Us By The Trail of Dead, in no time.
OPEN YOUR EYES, ESSE [pr: oh-puhn yawr ahys, ess-sá ] - verb pronoun, noun, noun :
We think simply "Esse" will work also. This line is also lifted from a cinematic line, courtesy of "American Me". Either way, the irony of you being skinny, white, and not tough at all, adds some novelty your band. Your name alone beats up the contemporary competition. Sadly, Latinos will not flock to your shows. "Who you trying to get crazy with, 'Open Your Eyes, Esse'? Don't you know I'm loco?"
Here's a few bands we thought we created, but sadly already exist:
Grand Mal
Countach
Inigo Montoya is the inspiration for this band moniker. No matter what you do, you will not look as tough as you sound. Just ask The Murder City Devils. With this band name choice, you will surely be opening for And You Will Know Us By The Trail of Dead, in no time.
OPEN YOUR EYES, ESSE [pr: oh-puhn yawr ahys, ess-sá ] - verb pronoun, noun, noun :
We think simply "Esse" will work also. This line is also lifted from a cinematic line, courtesy of "American Me". Either way, the irony of you being skinny, white, and not tough at all, adds some novelty your band. Your name alone beats up the contemporary competition. Sadly, Latinos will not flock to your shows. "Who you trying to get crazy with, 'Open Your Eyes, Esse'? Don't you know I'm loco?"
Here's a few bands we thought we created, but sadly already exist:
Grand Mal
Countach
12.08.2010
Controversy = Exposure
9/11 [pr: nahyn ih-lev-uhn] - noun, noun:
Its taboo. Name yourself after the worst attack on U.S. soil, at your own risk. It will definitely create a buzz for you, we just don't promise the good kind. There's a good possibility the likes of Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck will have heard of you, if you proceed with this name...may even have you on their shows for a one-sided, screamy interview. We recommend heavy, instrumental, brooding music. Think along the lines of Trans Am. Too heavy and controversy inducing for you? Try using the name "The Evil Doers".
KNIFE PLAY [pr: nahyf pley] - noun, noun:
We picture this band as having Afro(hair style)-Latin roots. Think Omar and At The Drive In/Mars Volta. Tough sounding band name, in the ilk of Murder City Devils, or Pretty Girls Make Graves. Skinny pants must match the tightness of your rhythm section.
GYROMITE [pr: jī-rō-mahyt] - noun:
We're no copyright experts, but if you're a playful band that doesn't mind having a music career with a shorter glass ceiling, go on and name yourself after this Nintendo game. I never quite understood how it was supposed to be very fun?
CASSIUS BILL CLAY [pr: kash-uhs bil kley] - noun, noun, noun:
See what we did here?! The name Muhammad Ali's Mama gave him + Alan Rickman's notorious villain role in Die Hard. Your wisecracking attitude will make Fat Wreck Chords court you, like lonely, middle aged white men shopping for a Filipino Mail Order Bride.
Its taboo. Name yourself after the worst attack on U.S. soil, at your own risk. It will definitely create a buzz for you, we just don't promise the good kind. There's a good possibility the likes of Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck will have heard of you, if you proceed with this name...may even have you on their shows for a one-sided, screamy interview. We recommend heavy, instrumental, brooding music. Think along the lines of Trans Am. Too heavy and controversy inducing for you? Try using the name "The Evil Doers".
KNIFE PLAY [pr: nahyf pley] - noun, noun:
We picture this band as having Afro(hair style)-Latin roots. Think Omar and At The Drive In/Mars Volta. Tough sounding band name, in the ilk of Murder City Devils, or Pretty Girls Make Graves. Skinny pants must match the tightness of your rhythm section.
GYROMITE [pr: jī-rō-mahyt] - noun:
We're no copyright experts, but if you're a playful band that doesn't mind having a music career with a shorter glass ceiling, go on and name yourself after this Nintendo game. I never quite understood how it was supposed to be very fun?
CASSIUS BILL CLAY [pr: kash-uhs bil kley] - noun, noun, noun:
See what we did here?! The name Muhammad Ali's Mama gave him + Alan Rickman's notorious villain role in Die Hard. Your wisecracking attitude will make Fat Wreck Chords court you, like lonely, middle aged white men shopping for a Filipino Mail Order Bride.
12.02.2010
A unique idea for a Christmas Party.
For those of you in L.A., looking for a little holiday fun, I urge you to check out this Facebook Page, for the Secret Santa Mixtape Party. Its a novel idea for a Christmas Gift Swap, making your own 'mixtapes', and you will get as you receive. There will be dollar raffle prizes, and all proceeds will go to help out the wonderful music and art venue, the Echo Curio.
And now, on with the band names:
CHIT CHAT [pr: chit-chat] - noun, verb:
Better have some Casio in your musical instrument arsenal. You need it, to open for LADYTRON. You should have some pretty sweet, angular haircuts.
THE GOSPELS [pr: gos-puhls] - noun:
Better you don't sound like spiritual music, in the sense of a Michael W. Smith, or DC TALK. You should have at least an heir of being pretty bad ass...you know, like Jack White? In fact, if you produce that dirty rock sound, you could even open for any of his band incarnates.
And now, on with the band names:
CHIT CHAT [pr: chit-chat] - noun, verb:
Better have some Casio in your musical instrument arsenal. You need it, to open for LADYTRON. You should have some pretty sweet, angular haircuts.
THE GOSPELS [pr: gos-puhls] - noun:
Better you don't sound like spiritual music, in the sense of a Michael W. Smith, or DC TALK. You should have at least an heir of being pretty bad ass...you know, like Jack White? In fact, if you produce that dirty rock sound, you could even open for any of his band incarnates.
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